Yoga Inspired Music

[Verse]
Stretchin’ on the mat I’m feelin’ all flexy
My cat’s in the corner lookin’ all perplexy
Downward dog becomes downward claw
He pounces on my face yeah I’m sayin’ oh naw

[Chorus]
Meowmaste it’s yoga chaos here
Paws in my coffee tail in my ear
Balance and harmony oh such a sham
This ain’t yoga it’s a feline exam
[Verse]

Pose like a tree he’s climbin’ my limb
My zen’s all gone yeah it’s wearin’ thin
I try warrior cat tries nap
His savasana? Snug in my lap

[Chorus]
Meowmaste it’s yoga chaos here
Paws in my coffee tail in my ear
Balance and harmony oh such a sham
This ain’t yoga it’s a feline exam

[Bridge]
Cat hair confetti floatin’ in the air
I’m breathin’ deeply he’s coughin’ up despair
Meditation moment I close my eyes
But the sound of purring gives my heartbeat a rise

[Verse]
Crow pose falls I’m crashing to the floor
Cat strikes a pose like he’s on the cover of Vogue
He smirks I swear and curls his tail
I bow to the master of this furry fail

Verse
Tried a pose called warrior one
But my dog thinks it’s time for fun
He jumps on me tail waggin’ chaotically
I’m a yoga mat circus and he’s the spree

Verse 2
I said “stretch” but he licked my face
Namaste turned into a chase
He’s chewing my socks like it’s savasana
Zen’s out the window
It’s doggie nirvana

Chorus
Downward dog’s the only thing he got right
He’s a yogi wrecking ball
My delight
From sun salutes to dog shenanigans
This yoga class is a canine romance

Bridge
He barks at the incense like it’s a foe
Knocks the candles
It’s a crazy show
Balance is broken but I’m laughing loud
Who knew yoga could draw this crowd?

Verse 3
Lotus pose he thinks is a cuddle sign
I give up and call it “Paws-alignment time”
With fur and slobber
My spiritual seat
Who needs Zen when he’s this sweet?

Chorus
Downward dog’s the only thing he got right
He’s a yogi wrecking ball
My delight
From sun salutes to dog shenanigans

[Verse]
Stretching out my downward dog oh what’s that sound
A little toot escapes just lurking around
Eyes all squinting folks peek as they dare
I mutter under breath not me I swear

[Chorus]
Who dealt the wind who’s the gas bandit here
Was it your mat or a ghost in the rear
A puff of shame but I solemnly plea
Not me I swear oh no not me

[Verse 2]
The guy to my left does a suspicious lunge
Blame shifts easily while the noses crunch
Excuse me miss did you snack on a pear
Don’t point your finger not me I swear

[Chorus]
Who dealt the wind who’s the gas bandit here
Was it your mat or a ghost in the rear
A puff of shame but I solemnly plea
Not me I swear oh no not me

[Bridge]
The teacher’s laughing now as we twist in pose
Says let the air flow freely let the yoga chose
But I’m hiding red cheeks in my messy hair
Still whispering softly not me I swear

[Chorus]
Who dealt the wind who’s the gas bandit here
Was it your mat or a ghost in the rear
A puff of shame but I solemnly plea
Not me I swear oh no not me

[Verse]
I signed up for yoga just to stretch and flow
But I caught her smile now I can’t let go
Three classes a day I’m on my mat all the time
Pretending it’s for fitness not my terrible rhyme

[Verse 2]
She’s got the aura of a goddess it’s tough to ignore
While I’m slipping in sweat I want something more
I try Warrior One and a sly little grin
But she’s gazing at Cheryl not the mess I’m in

[Chorus]
I’m bending and twisting I’m losing my cool
I’m stuck in her orbit like a lovesick fool
But she’s got no clue why I’m downward doggin’ this way
Turns out I’m her favorite student not—my heart sinks— she’s gay

[Verse 3]
I bought fancy leggings and a man bun kit
Stared at YouTube tutorials just to commit
But she’s chatting with girls after every last pose
While I’m standing there stocking up on Mat Spray woes

[Bridge]
Tried to master crow pose but I face-planted flat
She laughed and said “Keep trying it’s not about that!”
All this effort’s for love not my core strength game
Yet I’m on Yoga Journal under “Guys Who Lame”

[Chorus]
I’m bending and twisting I’m losing my cool
I’m stuck in her orbit like a lovesick fool
But she’s got no clue why I’m downward doggin’ this way
Turns out I’m her favorite student not—my heart sinks— she’s gay

[Verse]
Walking barefoot on the studio mat
Saw a dude in PJs
Thought
“What’s up with that?”
Socks with ducks
Pants flapping like a flag
He strikes a warrior pose
Looking like a shag

[Verse 2]
Polka dots on his sleepwear throne
Doing downward dog with a sleepy groan
Yoga instructor’s trying not to laugh
But his bedtime chic is stealing the class

[Chorus]
Pajamas in yoga class
He’s owning the vibe
Finding inner peace with his sleepy tribe
Forget Lululemon
Nap fashion’s arrived
Pjs and a headband
Feeling so alive

[Verse 3]
He nailed the tree pose
Almost fell asleep
Snored once or twice
His zen got deep
Asked for a mat nap midway through
Said
“Namaste
But I’ll snooze if it’s cool”

[Bridge]
Serious yogis can’t handle the sight
Of Snoozy Joe rocking child’s pose all night
Yoga’s his dreamland
He’s got zero shame
Flexing in flannel
Redefining the game

[Chorus]
Pajamas in yoga class
He’s owning the vibe
Finding inner peace with his sleepy tribe
Forget Lululemon
Nap fashion’s arrived
Pjs and a headband
Feeling so alive